July 2010

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BrewDog “The End of History”

July 23, 2010 in Beer News | No comments

Brace yourselves. What you’re about to see is not pretty. In fact some of you may want to shield your eyes. This is real:

Excerpts directly from the BrewDog Brewery website: “This blond Belgian ale is infused with nettles from the Scottish Highlands and Fresh juniper berries. Only 12 bottles have been made and each comes with its own certificate and is presented in a stuffed stoat or grey squirrel. The striking packaging was created by a very talented taxidermist and all the animals used were road kill. This release is a limited run of 11 bottles, 7 stoats and 4 grey squirrels. Each ones comes with its own certificate of authenticity.”

“The End of History: The name derives from the famous work of philosopher Francis Fukuyama, this is to beer what democracy is to history. Fukuyama defined history as the evolution of the political system and traced this through the ages until we got the Western Democratic paradigm. For Fukuyama this was the end point of man’s political evolution and consequently the end of history. The beer is the last high abv beer we are going to brew, the end point of our research into how far the can push the boundaries of extreme brewing, the end of beer.”

“This 55% beer should be drank in small servings whilst exuding an endearing pseudo vigilance and reverence for Mr Stoat. This is to be enjoyed with a weather eye on the horizon for inflatable alcohol industry Nazis, judgemental washed up neo-prohibitionists or any grandiloquent, ostentatious foxes.”

See the whole thing direct from the source: The End of History

Hoppin’ Frog D.O.R.I.S. Destroyer

July 22, 2010 in Beer Reviews, Holy Beer Contenders | 1 comment

“D.O.R.I.S.” stands for “Double Oatmeal Russian Imperial Stout.” According to the bottle, its stated purpose is to “overwhelm, satisfy, and destroy your taste buds.”

That’s a pretty bold statement coming from a “hoppin’ frog.” Let’s put it to the test.

I pop the top of this bad boy. It’s a tall bottle, 1 Pint & 6 oz., and I decide to pour it into a mug instead of imbibing it directly from the bottle. But first I take a sniff to see what we’re dealing with here.

It smells like hops and dark roasted malt, and it pours like well-used motor oil. I’m not kidding. This brew is thick, viscous, and absolutely black, with a dark brown head. (I don’t remember ever seeing a head this dark.) I have no choice but to wonder: What the hell am I getting myself into?

It’s either going to be outrageously good, or abysmal.

First sip. Initial taste is sweet black coffee. Smooth, heavy, and rich. Sting of hops, quickly pummeled by the taste of oatmeal with brown sugar. That reigns for a good long while until it fades under a layer of burnt toast, and then finally the resurgence of a strong wash of hoppy bitterness.

Not only is this a groovy brew, it’s a very groovy brew, and I grant it a outrageously high 9 (nine!) on the Holy Grail scale.

I also have to rate it as a OMFG beer. “Oatmeal freaking good,” of course. Heh.

Consider me destroyed. After downing this entire bottle of 10.6% (roughly 21 Proof) ale, I can no longer feel my face.

Old Hooky

July 21, 2010 in Beer Reviews, Gulp Alert!, Holy Beer Contenders | No comments

Okay, pardon me for a moment, but I have to geek out a bit. Microsoft Word 2010 just automatically removed the background behind the bottle for me. It just knew what to remove, and pow, I have a naked bottle sitting there.

That’s just freaking awesome. Why can’t my photo program do that? I mean, come on, a word processor is showing up professional photo software! Corel, please, get your act together. Microsoft is kicking your pants.

Okay, back to the ale. This ale is awesome. Someone recommended it to me and I am glad I took them up on it. From the masters at Hook Norton Brewery in Oxfordshire comes this, a traditional English ale, with the motto: "Where progress is measured in pints."

Pop the top, take a whiff, and you smell golden malt, a drift of hops, and a touch of yeast.

Take a sip, and it turns to a gulp. I’m having to sound the gulp alert on this one. It tastes so smooth and refined that your body just automatically says, "Okay, open up, we’re taking it all in one go!"

Force yourself to stop. Take a cleansing breath. Sip.

It’s fruity, smooth, refined, and smooth. Did I mention refined? And smooth? It’s those things. The crystal malt is coming from somewhere on a higher plane. The beer sings, either that or it melted my brain. One of the two, or perhaps both. Exquisite is about all I can come up with.

I hereby proclaim this to be a groovy brew and a holy beer contender, and rate it a high 8.0 on the Holy Grail Scale. Also, I’m wishing I’d gotten more than one bottle.

But, really, in the grand scheme of things, it’s better that I didn’t.

EKU 28

July 19, 2010 in Beer Reviews | No comments

I remember trying this beer back when I was in my early twenties, and telling everyone it tasted like "beer syrup." It’s a Doppelbock style beer from Kulmbacher Brauerei AG in Kulmbach, Germany, highly rated and somewhat hard to find. Binny’s in Glen Ellyn Illinois has it, along with a zillion other “hard to find” beers. The place truly is beer heaven. I saw the EKU 28 on the shelf and decided to see how it stacks up against my memory.

Popping it open, I give it that obligatory first sniff. It smells yeasty and sweet, so much so the scent overpowers just about everything else but the faint undertone of malt.

I raise it up to my lips, tip it back. Tastes just how I remember it. Beer syrup. On the initial sip all you really notice is how heavy and thick it seems, and the taste is a neutral grain alcohol flavor that sinks smoothly under a wave of citrus maltiness. That gives way to a mild bitterness that has a woody quality to it, reminding me just a bit of bourbon.

Actually that’s a good way to describe it. If you ever have a dark beer with a bourbon chaser, that aftertaste is quite a bit like EKU 28. The chaser is included.

Indeed. This brew is 11% alcohol by volume, and it hits you quickly. You don’t want to drink too many of these in a row, unless you like waking up naked in the meridian of a major freeway, or hanging from a tree by a bondage outfit you have no recollection of buying.

I have no choice but to proclaim EKU 28 as a groovy brew, but I don’t really feel it rates as a holy beer contender. It’s good and it’s fun but it doesn’t cause angels to sing.

Tags: EKU 28