Clausthaler Premium Non-Alcoholic

Not everyone can drink alcohol.

Me, personally, I’ve taken a year off.  I know, horror of horrors, no alcohol for me in 2010.  But this website must go on, and so I’ll do my best to track down and review every single non-alcoholic malt beverage I can find, plus throw in a few reviews I still have scribbled on paper, scattered around and buried in piles.

I’ll start this off with Clausthaler Premium, an import from Germany which I still think of as “beer” — but that’s not technically correct.  Still.  It’ s sold in the beer aisle at the store, and — at least here in Illinois — you still get carded for it.

It smells like beer.  In fact it smells a lot like Lowenbrau.  Just by sniffing it you can’t tell that it’s a non-alcoholic brew.

Upon first sip, which for me turned into a gulp, it tastes like the real thing.  Smooth, bitter with hops, lightly carbonated and just a bit watery, it’s not that much different than a mass-produced import.  Where the illusion fails is in the aftertaste.  Alcohol has an aftertaste that is missing here.  Then on the second swig, the illusion starts breaking down even further.  You can tell something is missing.

Let’s put all that aside, though.  It’s not fair to put this up against a real beer.  What is important is, does it satisfy?  How good is it?

Pretty darn good.  It satisfies the craving for those who are missing the real thing – and believe me, I am – and it is undoubtedly the best of the brews I’ve had so far since beginning this sobering adventure.

Obviously I can’t nominate it as a Holy Beer contender but I have no problem proclaiming it as a groovy brew.